“Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry!” I repeated to myself in my head like a mantra as Weston said his vows, not from a scrap of paper, not from memory but right from his enormous heart.  I needn’t have worried, ‘cos by the time he was done, were were all crying a little!  Standing hand in hand and (almost) face to face (#shortgirlproblems) under a a big tree, we were married. Married in our best wrangler jeans.  Married without exchanging rings.  Married without a big dress, without a first dance and without a room full of eyes on us.  Weston with his phone still on his hip (probably too distracted by what was about to happen to remember to take it off); myself clutching a tiny ‘bouquet’ of snapdragons bound by twine, picked from our sweet friend’s yard.  It was perfect. So imperfectly, perfect.

For those of you that don’t know, Weston and I eloped. Yes, that’s right – we ran (rather, rode) off into the back corner of the pasture on a nice November evening almost 3 years ago with two of our friends, got hitched and then went out for a steak dinner.  I get why big weddings are important to some people, for those that are able to have their huge family present to witness their union and for those who take pleasure in (and have the time for) meticulously planning all of the tiny details. I will admit that I was tempted by all of the pretty favors, the beautiful lace wedding gowns, the fairy lights and baby’s breath in mason jars. When we set all of the pretty details and idealistic thoughts aside, we agreed that it was far more important for us to have a beautiful marriage, not just a beautiful wedding. I want to shine a little light on why ultimately, eloping worked for us.

Time:

Due to immigration related details that I shall not bore you with, Wes and I were not even living in the same country for the most part of our engagement.  Since he was working for the family business and I had just arrived in the US, it was important to us to be present and enjoy this long awaited time together, instead of being tied up in wedding planning. Immigration law required us to be married within 90 days of my entry into the USA (Though not technically accurate, as we had been engaged for longer, this is where the term ’90-day fiancé’ comes from). We were enjoying spending time together in the place that we met, the place where Weston made his first of many cheeky remarks about my accent, the ranch where I unknowingly would meet my future husband, our home, Southern Cross Guest Ranch. We spent our our evenings playing cards with his grandmother, listening to her enchanting ranch stories and roaming the pastures at sunset with my camera….planning a wedding would have made us miss all of that.  Now that I’m well into the throws of running a business, Weston is now running the barn and the “noise” of daily is ever increasing, I’m so grateful for the time that we spent together back then…I’m glad that wedding planning did not take away from the small pleasures we had, such as digging a new flower bed or shopping for a couch to replace the camping chairs we had been using in the living room!

Money:

Even if it’s just a small one, wedding’s cost a good bit of cash. Having already been though the fairly expensive immigration process, we decided to save the money we would have spent on a wedding to start our marriage financially sound and not get our selves into debt. As a result, we have both been able to enjoy the occasional mini-break, treat ourselves to date nights and even a trip to the UK to visit my family.   That, coupled with the fact that we low outgoings living on the ranch property, means we have gotten a good start on saving for our dream home when the time comes!  

Stress!: 

Another great thing about eloping was that I never had a reason to become Bridezilla! I read about it the all the time among the Wedding Photographer community on Facebook and I see some crazy behavior! Neither of us enjoy being the center of attention and we felt as though organizing and coordinating a wedding was not necessary because we didn’t particularly want one! Despite potential pressure from friends, family, society, and wait for it…Pinterest, eloping was a decision based on what was best for us. Weston’s friend got ordained online (Yes, the ‘church of life’ is a real thing) and married us on the ranch with all 200 of our closest four-legged friends.  Although our friend managed to get a few shots of the moment using my camera, I do regret not hiring a professional photographer for the occasion. 

Since then I have been fortunate to capture a couple of these milestone moments for other couples, both at the ranch and the surrounding areas.  I have learned some very valuable things: Wedding Photographers are like superheroes; yes, I will happily spend endless time with a horse fidgeting and stepping on my feet, dancing around making weird noises to get the “ears”; Yes, I spend hours editing, retouching and scrutinizing every hair on said horse’s face to make it’s just right for that gigantic framed canvas, and yes, I have contorted my body around arena panels and laid on the wet ground to capture the expression on the face of that gritty, young bull-rider nearing the 8 second mark; but none of this, I feel, compares to the pressure and dedication of a Wedding Photographer! Sometimes, I get to meet couple similar couples to us and photograph their proposal, elopement or anniversaries at the ranch and that, without the pressures of a Wedding Photographer, is a beautiful thing.  

Dear Bride-to-be,

I hope that reading this encourages you to make the decision that is right for you, despite how you think you ‘should’ planning your big day. If you prefer to rock grass stains, hay and horse snot over perfume, makeup and matching bridal party rompers, then I may just be your girl to capture it!

Wishing you wisdom, clarity and happiness at this special time in your life.

Charlotte